The Search for Saint Valentine

As a student some years ago, I did a report for the Pebblebrook High newspaper called Happy Lepercali! It was about the origins of Valentine’s day. My research uncovered the pagan origins, particularly Roman festival of Lepercali, and also the Christian martyr Saint Valentine, who wrote letters to other Christians encouraging them during his imprisonment giving the holiday it’s name. Most sources attributed the modern custom of exchanging and giving friendly and romantic valentine cards as having evolved from the epistical practices of the martyr.

So, when I began the research for this paper, I expected to find the same information that I found before, since history doesn’t change (at least I didn’t think it did), and more, since I am an older and wiser (supposedly, anyway) and more capable as an adult, plus now I have the advantage of information technology at my fingertips. So it should be a breeze. Right? Wrong! Boy, was I in for some surprises!

Beginning my research where I often do these days with Compton’s On Line encyclopedia, I found the usual pagan origins with more details than I remembered from my previous high school assignment.

It seems that people once believed birds particularly love birds began to mate on or around February 14^th. Ancient Rome celebrated Lupercalia on February 15^th as a pagan fertility festival of their gods Pan and Juno. There was no connection with the 2 martyred Saint Valentines of 3^rd century Rome except that their feast day, the 14^th coincided with the pagan festival.

Compton’s also cited the modern celebration as having began in 14^th century France and England with young people becoming the "valentine" of another person whose name was drawn from a valentine box.

Pursuing my topic further under other headings in Compton’s, I found that, unlike many other countries, actually the United States has no national holidays. The President can only declare holidays for Washington DC and for Federal employees. Valentine’s day is not mentioned among the 1968 congress bill declaring 9 legal holidays, the 10^th one being added in 1986 (MLK birthday). Sunday is the only holiday under common law (though there are groups such as Jews and Seventh day groups who recognize Saturday and some other religions who recognize Friday). But Valentine’s Day is a popular festival widely observed along with Saint Patrick’s Day, April Fool, Mayday, and Halloween.

But, in all my recent research, little is mentioned of any Saint Valentine, except that he was said to be a 3^rd century Christian martyr whose feast day, February 14^th, was dropped from the Roman Catholic Calendar in 1968.

I did find more information on Lupercal, the Roman festival of Lupercus, as he is said to be god of flock protection and often associated with another god, Faunus.

In 1882, it is recorded that the festival day carries confessions of love to a recipient. Greeting Cards have ancient origins in letter writing, formerly called epistles, as in the epistles of Paul in the New Testament, dating back to El Amarna, Egypt, the Middle East, and Rome.

In the 20^th century, letter writing has diminished (aside from a few diehards romantics like myself who still indulge in and delight in archaic things), probably because of mass communications, technology, telephone, and computers. Though derided as "snail mail", the ancient art of letter writing is still practiced some, but has largely been replaced by commercially prepared printed greetings and audio cards, some with music, and now we have multimedia and cyber cards with animated graphics and sounds (these are my own observations). But according to the encyclopedia, the epistle is more formal than a letter and has literary merit. There are Bible epistles and the epistles of Plutouch and Seneca, for example. My college art teacher often bemoaned the tragedies of technology and society stifling individual creativity. I can appreciate his views. While I delight in computer art and graphics, I still feel that manual artwork should still be valid and encouraged and celebrated.

My late husband and I used to leave secret messages and codes for each other in the computer games and programs. Sometimes we left notes on a pillow on the bed or on the sun visor in the car or other places. Our favorite code or password was ILYFYWTM, which means I love you forever, you’re wonderful to me. That year and a half we had together was brief, but the time we will have together in eternity is forever.

I recently read a story my sister found on a genealogy website about an elderly couple and their family who was always leaving the word "shmily" for one another. In the steam on the bathroom mirror, on the last sheet on the roll of toilet paper, in a book, or on a misty car window, in unexpected places they would take turns surprising each other with the word. Although the story never told what the word meant, there was much joy and laughter and pleasant memories surrounding the game they played. When the elderly woman died her husband stood before the casket at the funeral and started singing a song of love to his wife, and at the end, he spelled out the word "Shmily" in tones of undying love. Now this was originality and love both at their best.

Next, my search for the illusive Saint Valentine (s) led me to a list of popes in the Catholic Church where I found listed one named Valentine in 827. No other information is given.

As I browsed through other documents and sites on line, I found in Columbia Concise Electronic Encyclopedia, a Roman martyred priest in 270 whose feast day was close to the pagan love festival and therefore became the patron saint of lovers. His feast day was dropped from the liturgical calendar in 1969. No further explanation is given.

In Hutchenson’s Encyclopedia, I found a bishop of Terni martyred in Rome, now omitted from the Roman calendar as probably nonexistent. His feast day was February 14^th, but the coustom of sending valentines to loved ones is accidental as it simply coincided with the Roman mid February festival of Lupercalia.

The Electronic Library Personal Edition yielded a list of titles, "A Look and the History Behind the Romance Holiday", "Oh Poor Saint Valentine", and others which, unfortunately one must sign up and pay for the service, requiring a credit card which I cannot get on a fixed income, in order to access the information. Even the so-called free search refused me access. Emailing the site produced not results either.

After repeated frustrations, page not found, access denied, access refused, page timed out, search results found 0 titles, connection has been lost, mouse misbehaving, keys on keyboard stuck, and a multitude of other dead ends and aggravations, I still was no closer to my goal. The web offers multitudes, however, in advertising for cyber greetings, candy, flowers, and other gifts that can be purchased to give to one’s valentine with love.

On a site called Fathers of the Church, I found an article called, "Terteallan: Against the Valentinians", there is mention of a would be bishop named Valentinus, probably a faithful believer, "able, but restless" and "able in genus and eloquence" who "left the church of the true faith". His followers departed from his teachings and came into ill favor with the established church. They were branded as heretics, clothed in secrecy and superstition and ambiguities. Apparently there is controversy about them and many refute the heresy. But is this the Saint Valentine of our quest? We seem to have found more questions than answers.

Saint Valentine, whether he be fact or fiction, represents a symbol of love to people everywhere. Perhaps a worthier endeavor would be to define the concept Valentine stands for. What is love?

In an age where promiscuousness, disease, and sin abound, what should the Christian’s idea of love be? Though it is often considered something evil, I believe love in its proper context is a good and godly thing. Unlike us, the Greeks had more than one term for our word love. They differentiated between family love, friendship love, and romantic love. It is also important to learn to discern between love and lust, and functional family and dysfunctional family, healthy and unhealthy relationships. The saying, " A family that prays together stays together" is certainly a start in the right direction.

Love: poets have lauded it in lofty verse, musicians have voiced it in varied tunes and rhythms and instruments, and dramatists have displayed it in acting. And it has been scorned as bitterly as it has been praised. As one of my late uncles said once, "Love is a many splintered thing." Many divorce people and battered spouses will attest to that fact as well. Is it "better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"? I wonder.

The Bible is full of great love stories: Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachael (this is true love that waits), Ruth and Boaz, and Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs, as it is sometimes called). There are friendship love stories such as David and Jonathan and David and Jonathan’s disabled son Mephebosheth, family love as with Ruth and Naomi, love for those in need such as the Good Samaritan. There is sacrificial love as with the woman with the costly ointment, which she poured out on Jesus’ feet to prepare his body for burial. And the greatest sacrifice: Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. There is Jesus’ love for the woman caught in adultery, not condemning, and his love for the Samaritan woman, usually hated by Jewish men, and His love for sinners and publicans. There are negative examples where love was wrong, such as David and Bathsheba (he didn’t wait, this was lust, not love), and Samson and Delilah. And there are positive examples as with Queen Esther and King Ahausarus, and John the Beloved apostle taking care of Jesus’ mother Mary, Joseph taking care of his brothers and their families even after they had sold him into slavery. The woman who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and dried them with her hair shows true love. For love is humble and giving. The picture of the lost sheep that was searched for diligently and the shepherd willing to risk his own life to save and protect that sheep is a lovely picture of love. Jesus and Stephen forgiving those who were killing them and while they were still hurting, and the Loving Father accepting his prodigal son back home with open arms and a feast.

Jesus said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15: 13. And Jesus backed His words with actions. The modern expression, "Love is a verb" is in keeping with love as Jesus had.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16. This is what the early Christians called Agape in the Greek language. This is God’s love, the perfect love. His love is an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).

But what makes up true love? Saint Valentine, be he real or fictional, was a Christian, so he, as all Christians should, would have gone to the Bible for understanding (in the sanctuary of God is understanding-Psalm 73:17). God answers the question of true love in the Bible:

"For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church." Ephesians 5:31-32. (Husband and wife relationship, Christ and the church).

"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled…" Hebrews 13:4.

"Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30. (Inner beauty is more important than external).

"He must manage his own family well…if anyone does not know how to manage his family, how can he take care of God’s church?" 1 Timothy 3:4-5 (NIV). (Family responsibility is part of love).

"Behold how good and how pleasant for brethren to dwell together in unity." Psalm 133:1 (family unity).

"…Forbearing one another, forgiving one another…" Colossians 3:13. (Forgiveness and patience is part of love).

"…Love covereth all sins." Proverbs 10: 12. (Love restores, not condemns).

"…Love is of God…" 1John 4: 7.

"…God is love…" 1 John 4:16.

"…Love your enemies…that ye may be the children of your Father…" Matthew 5:44-45. (Anybody can love their friends and people they like, but true love loves enemies and the unlovable).

"Let brotherly love continue…" Hebrews 13:1.

"A friend loveth at all times…" Proverbs 17:17. (All times, not just when it is convenient or easy).

"Many waters cannot quench love…" Song of Solomon 8:7.

"…Love is as strong as death…" Song of Solomon 8:6.

"He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love." Song of Solomon 2:4.

"He hath showed thee, o man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God." Micah 6:8. (This is true love and true religion).

"Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." Matthew 22: 37. (True love is total commitment).

"They shall prosper that love Me." Psalm 122:6.

"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." John 13:35. (Love is the badge of a true disciple).

"…Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Matthew 22:29. (Regarding who is one’s neighbor, see the Good Samaritan story in Luke 10: 25-37. It’s those folks from the other side of the tracks).

"…For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh, A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things…" Matthew 12: 24-15. (What kind of treasure do you hold in your heart? See my "Garden Within" poem on the articles page).

"…Speaking the truth in love…" Ephesians 4:15.

"As many as I love, I rebuke." Revelation 3: 19 (God’s tough love).

"…Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. …and now these three remain faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13 New International Version).

"…lovest thou Me?…feed My sheep." John 21:17. (Love is service. Remember Jesus washing his disciples’ feet—even Judas’ feet!).

"…If a man love Me, he will keep my words…" John 14:23. (Obedience is part of love).

"If ye love Me, keep my commandments." John 14:15. (Obedience is love).

"If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in His love." John 15:10.

"Now the end of the commandment is charity (love) out of a pure heart, and of a pure conscience, and of faith unfeigned." 1 Timothy 1:5. (True love is purity, faith, sincerity, and charity).

"As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love." John 15:9.

"Let Brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers; for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." Hebrews 13: 1-2. (Love to strangers and foreigners or internationals).

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:3:28. (Love is equality of race, nationality, sex, and socio-economic status).

"And above all these things, put on charity (love) which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." Colossians 3:14-15. (Love is unity, peace, thankfulness and Christ in our hearts).

"The Lord doth build up Jerusalem: he gathereth together the outcasts of Israel. He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." Psalm 147:2-3. (Heartbroken? God will heal. God even loves the outcast).

Saint Valentine, be he real or fictional, has lead us in our search to a better concept of true love. What it amounts to is that true love is unconditional. Even animals have displayed unconditional love at times: dolphins in the wild have rescued swimmers, guide dogs lead the blind, sheep dogs protect the sheep. Dogs are often used on rescue missions in avalanche territory. Pet dogs and cats have been known to travel many miles to find their owners and have risked their own health and safety and even their very lives in love and loyalty and devotion protecting their owners. If animals can do this, why can’t we?

While visiting the Atlanta Historical Society once years ago, I saw a display about the role of black people in the civil war. It cited a story about a black slave who, upon finding the body of his master, who was also his friend, on the battlefield at the 2^nd battle of Manaases, took the sword and the jacket and walked 700 miles back to their home in Georgia to return them to the family. Many people today will not walk across the street to help an elderly poor or disabled neighbor; some won’t help their own families in need. Often people are apathetic or even critical of the needy. Where in the Bible does the Good Samaritan chide the man wounded on the road for having gotten himself into that mess? But this unnamed black man, in contrast to the backdrop of the civil war and the racial inequalities of the times, walked 700 miles for his deceased friend and the family. If all of us, of every race and culture and walk of life, could show this kind of undying love, the world would be a better place for all to live, and certainly a better place to raise our children.

True love can overcome racial barriers. True love is multi cultural. This is love that lasts, like the "shmily" and "ILYFYWTM" stories; even death can’t quench it. This is the giving and forgiving sacrificial love that Jesus showed on Calvary’s cross when he died, not for a friend or for good folks, but for sinners, you and I. This is Christian love at it’s best.

So, while I have not found the original Saint Valentine I set out to find, I have, I believe, researched true love to its origins and definition. May you find true love that will last forever and let every day be Valentine’s day!

Deborah Funderburk February 2000